You're Not Broken, You're Human.
Dear friends,
Call it pandemic flux, burn out, or simple exhaustion, but whatever the name, you’re not alone in feeling it. Maybe for you it’s manifesting as a bone-deep tiredness that’s leaving you unable to plan or accomplish daily tasks. Or perhaps you are one of the people who can’t muster the motivation that once used to power you through your days. Things you’ve been managing for months now feeling too heavy to keep carrying.
This state of low energy and motivation happens when we reach our limits mentally, emotionally, and physically. Are you wondering why you cannot seem to manage to get out of this funk or why you have hit a wall now? Are you thinking that surely you should be used to this by now? It is just the opposite—the enduring nature of the stress is what makes it so pernicious for our mental health. We are sprinters locked into a marathon. We shouldn’t be surprised that we are seizing up.
Our brains weren’t built to exist in a perpetual state of high alert. We all have a “surge capacity” to meet short term crises. Our defense is our fight/flight/freeze response and not simple endurance. For the last 18 months, families have been doing everything right, everything possible, and yet they feel stuck in the same place. Our brains were not designed for this.
After nearly two years of persistent stress and a million tiny losses, it is no wonder that we are hitting the wall—and sharing that experience with millions of other Americans. The fact that we are not alone does not diminish the experience or mean that our own experience of it isn’t unique and full of nuances.
For some, there have been big obvious losses—death, job loss, financial loss. But there are also the million tiny losses that erode our sense of equilibrium. There are the losses of the world we had come to expect, the life we had planned, and the choices we expected to have. They are cumulative and heavy.
It’s feeling just a tiny bit out of control of your life for months on end—at the mercy of these things so far outside of our ability to manage on our own—politics, a global health crisis, social injustices, and all the other pieces out of our control.
It's months of going without our village. Parents are struggling to cobble together the leave or childcare they need to account for quarantines and childcare shortages. Schools and daycares are open, but things are still not quite normal. It’s picking out masks to match your outfits, and it’s dreading every cold that might ground the whole family at home. It’s trying to send your children confidently out into the world while simultaneously weighing all the risks.
It’s another round of slightly altered holidays, milestones, and birthdays. A baby shower that wasn’t as expected, a muted birthday celebration, a pregnancy or postpartum filled with worry, travel plans cancelled, holiday traditions adjusted.
If you’re finding yourself stuck this fall, know that you are not broken. You are human. Without being trite, here are a few suggestions to garner some relief in your life:
Understand that you are not alone; burnout is the second pandemic. We are here to help work through these feelings, and we are seeing this in almost everyone these days.
To combat the stress of being endlessly waiting for things to return to normal, set goals and milestones that are achievable now (not when the pandemic ends). This will help your brain recalibrate.
Adjust your routine to include intentional rest periods (even for just a few minutes), and that predictable recharge time will help. It's not a bad idea to consider taking a leave of absence from work if that is a benefit you have. It would help facilitate deeper rest.
Give yourself space to process your own stress and grieve what you’ve lost before adjusting expectations to a new reality.
Exercise, meditate, read --- do the things you love that recharge you. Let intuition lead you. Think "what do I need right now" that would feel good?
As a Center, we too have been focusing on the ways we can meet our own goals for providing support during this time. To that end, we are thrilled to share that Michelle Hudasko, MA, IBCLC has agreed to join our staff as a part of our clinical care team. We are so privileged to have her on our staff, and we are pleased to share that she has capacity to take on new patients so we are able to continue to meet the needs in our community.
Additionally, our amazing massage therapist Jess Sieracki has increased her availability at the Center and now is offering massages on Wednesdays. If you want to book a massage, you can do so on our site.
We also want to acknowledge that October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, and we will be participating in the Wave of Light on October 15th in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day of Remembrance. This year, we will be lighting candles in the office in memory of those losses, and if you wish for us to light a candle on your behalf, please use this link to let us know what to write on your candle. We’re honored to be a part of remembering with you.
Warmly,
Kellie Wicklund, LPC, PMH-C
Owner + Clinical Director
Christina Moran
Executive Director
