Superhuman Feats of Everyday Parenting
Dear Friends,
Tis the season for Hallmark cards and sentimental commercials about motherhood. We know the impending holiday(s) can be difficult for so many families for a wide variety of reasons, but we can’t help but also want to to pay tribute to all the parents currently in the trenches of raising children.
All too often the hardest work of parenting is the mundane. It’s dragging yourself out of bed in the middle of the night when you are bone-tired to hold a child having a nightmare. It’s comforting your child who is hurting when you feel their pain in your own heart. It’s getting the kids to their doctors’ appointments when the schedule appears to require time travel and body doubles.
We’re often so busy checking off these unglamourous tasks of parenthood that we hardly have time to reflect on the herculean efforts that go into some of the necessary work of parenting. These are the superhuman feats of everyday parents--the things that got done simply because they needed to be done but were nonetheless nearly impossible to actually accomplish.
There are moments in every parent’s journey where they call up strength that they didn’t know they possessed to do what needed to be done for their child. All these things require a power that exceeds our normal abilities. We don’t know exactly how we do them; we just do. It is ordinary as a parent to sometimes do the extraordinary.
Despite being some of the hardest work of parenting, it’s some of the least celebrated. Everyone can agree that the proverbial mother who lifts a car off her child is impressive, but where’s the medal for parents who survived an onslaught of sensory overload all day only to remain calm while listening to Cocomelon on loop while driving. That type of parenting takes superhuman strength that deserves more respect.
No one can (or should) operate like we can do the impossible every day. Yes, some nights you cook dinner when you feel like curling up in bed, but there will also be nights when you all have granola bars and fruit snacks in front of the TV and fall asleep early. Life unfortunately isn’t set up to give families the support that they so often need. It should be easier, but it isn’t. Parents do the impossible some days, and we should treat that with the awe it deserves.
Our team made our own list of superhuman feats of everyday parents that we would love to issue our own medals for to honor those times when you really go above and beyond. Some of these are places where we tap into unbelievable emotional strength, and some are nods to the overwhelming mental load of parenting. Some things are about how we step in to give our kids good enough when the world falls short, and others are places where we show grit despite obstacles. All of them are darn impressive when you can pull it off.
Juggled childcare gaps and schedules while also managing to stay employed.
Remembered to schedule your own haircut/doctor’s appointment/etc. while also tracking your child’s ever-changing calendar.
Purchased an article of clothing matching your child’s precise stylistic requirements as well as correct size following an unanticipated growth spurt.
Got yourself and your child out the door in the morning with all necessary items, brushed hair, brushed teeth, and shoes on. Bonus points if accomplished with no tears.
Cooked a dinner that met all family members’ dietary preferences and then didn’t throw it at them when they didn’t eat it because it tastes “different.”
Rearranged heaven and earth to accommodate a sick child who can’t go to school.
Held your child while their heart is breaking and held both their heartache and yours at seeing them hurting.
Cared for your child while they were in pain when you wished you could take it from them.
Helped your child when they were having a meltdown without also having a meltdown yourself.
Parented while sick. Enough said.
Chose not to engage your child in the parenting battle they so clearly wanted you to join them in.
Coaxed your child into a fun activity only to then have to drag them out at the end, while not yelling “I told you so”.
Changed over your child’s wardrobe between sizes and seasons with no one having to go naked.
Managed the sensory overload of parenting all day.
Managed trauma while parenting.
Left the store without surrendering to endless requests for things when it felt easier to just give in.
Helped your child to regulate themselves when you were also feeling dysregulated.
And there are thousands more! If you’ve done any of these over the last year, give yourself a mental trophy from us. We would love to hear all the other things you deserve acknowledgement for or all the ways you’d like to acknowledge other parents.
We keep thinking of these as little acts of love that linger on our children through the rest of their lives. Collectively, it’s an awe-inspiring amount of love going out into the universe. We’re grateful to get to witness so much of it.
Warmly,
Kellie Wicklund, LPC, PMH-C
Principal + Clinical Director
Christina Moran
Executive Director
